booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
