literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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