no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Drunk is not a location!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
