mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
