jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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