I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
