Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Randomize
