dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
