You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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