so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
