all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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