And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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