You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
