there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
