here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
