i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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