Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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