Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Randomize
