she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
