You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
