i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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