return my video game
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
