Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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