I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
