But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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