I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
