If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
