I think I just saw someone hide a body.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
