he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You ruined the universe
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
