update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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