UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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