Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Randomize
