I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
