A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
