Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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