need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I got inside last night via doggy door
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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