Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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