Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
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he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
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Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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