this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
