C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize