So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My dick has a subreddit
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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