Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
