so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
