i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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