I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
the liver wants what the liver wants
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
