hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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