if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
