Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
