Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
