kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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