I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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