Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
