I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
We need to rekindle our bromance
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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