Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
