If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
