Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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