Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize