actually, I'm a sock model
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize