yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Randomize
