The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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