I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Randomize
