I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
