Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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