I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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