I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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