I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
