oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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