Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
