you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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