I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I could make wine with my vomit
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
